Girl gone.... wild?

I want to move away. Part of my is absolutely terrified of moving away because I've lived in the same town for all of my life. Part of me wants to go live in a big city where no one knows my name or my story. There are times when I love my life here where I am right now, but there are times like now when I don't. Right now, I want to forget about everyone. I want to go to some strange city and just make a new life for myself. That's part of the reason why I wanted to go to college in a different state, so I could be a complete stranger where NO ONE will know who am. I can break my reputation as the girl who is quiet, who doesn't talk, who's shy because I'm really not.

I'm pretty sure I have social anxiety but would I really act the same way if it's not with people I have grown up with my WHOLE life? I want to be the new person. I want to be the fun version of myself for once. I want to see what kind of people will really be my friend if I was thrown into a random city.

I guess I just want change and a chance to be me.

I wish....

I wish I knew what I wanted to do with my life.


I am quite the indecisive person and I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I'm starting college soon, but that doesn't mean I know anything about my life. I have no idea what I want to do. Where I want to go. What I want to be. I don't know anything. I will be a small tiny fish in the big ocean of life and that scares me.


I wish I knew. I wish there was a sign that just said "Be a doctor" "Be a lawyer" "Be an artist". I wish someone would just tell me what to do with my life because I have no clue. Frankly, I would be okay with anything because I know I won't like my job if I can't travel but I know I want to make lots of money. There is no compromise for me. That is exactly why I can't make a decision.


I wish life was easy.

I wish for a nice Valentine's Day

Don't all girls just wish for a secret admirer on Valentine's Day? I've always dreamed of being surprised on this day. I've dreamed of receiving a confession. I've always dreamed of receiving something to make me feel special. Every year, I'm not really expecting anything. Even though I'm not, every year I've been disappointed by Valentine's day. Sucks to be me.

Maybe this year will be different. But then again, I work on Valentine's day so.... Maybe this Valentine's day will suck. Maybe I will come home and cry in a corner because sadness.

Forever alone because I truly think that no one can really like a shy, quiet, book-nerd type person such as me. *sobs*

Be in a FUN relationship

By fun, I do mean fun. I don't want another relationship where we discuss our future together and everything because right now, i seriously still feel like if I had another relationship like that, he's going to end up hurting me and crushing my soul.

Which is why I want a fun relationship. I guess thanks to my first relationship being pretty serious, I wasn't able to have the kind of experimental relationship that I have wanted all along. I want a cute relationship. I want a fun relationship. I want us to just randomly decide to go pig out on McDonalds or randomly go get coffee. I want spontaneous. I want fun. I want cute. I want easy.

I wish I could have one of those. I just want an easy relationship. Who knows, maybe an easy relationship will develop into something more. I don't know. I just want to start off with fun and cute and ugh.

How many of you actually get what i'm talking about? Sometimes, i don't even know what I'm talking about. Ugh. I just want a relationship because sometimes I need someone who will be there for me. Someone I can just be the random person I am with.